A lot of people have given me advice on how to enjoy motherhood more; my parents, Kyle's parents, and of course, publications like Parents magazine or Babycenter.com.
The one piece of advice I read or hear everywhere is: Don't be a martyr. Ask for help, because you will just be stressed if you try to do everything yourself.
A corollary to this very good advice typically is: Learn to deal with the fact that your spouse won't do things the exact same way you do. Maybe they do things a little differently, but wouldn't you rather have the help than have them do nothing?
I can think of nothing more true. And quite honestly, I've never cared much how chores are done so long as they are done.
Anyone who has seen my average/on-the-sloppy-side housekeeping knows that I'm no neat freak.
But when people give me that advice about dealing with my spouse's "different" way of cleaning, I don't think they really understand quite how "different" Kyle's versions of things are.
I mean, when Parents magazine tells me to "ease up and let my hubby do the laundry- who cares if they don't fold it exactly right?" they make it sound as if a few wrinkled clothes would be the ONLY problem with Kyle doing the laundry.
I don't think they had in mind two FULL loads of completely sopping laundry removed from the dryer an hour too early that had to be spread all over the floor to dry for two days (last time I let him to the laundry... about five years ago).
I mean, doing things "differently" is all well and good- but people make it sound like Kyle (or a typical husband) makes the bed with iron-sharp creases and their nagging wife comes home and complains because they didn't do a French tuck under the pillows or something.
Give me a break! I'd be satisfied with all the pillows being on the bed and the sheet not being bunched in a huge pile underneath the comforter. Seriously, Kyle's idea of making the bed is spreading the top comforter and leaving everything else the way it is.
Kyle's idea of taking the trash out is taking the bag from the kitchen to the porch and not bothering to replace the liner.
Kyle's idea of mopping is taking a mop and swishing dirty water all over the floor- WITHOUT SWEEPING FIRST so the crumbs, pretzel bits and goldfish crackers just get moved around.
I mean, let's be honest- that's not "different"- it's just WRONG. I'm not saying I do everything right and I'm perfect and he has to do it exactly my way.
I'm saying that HUMANITY sweeps before mopping because otherwise it's not mopping. It's spilling water on the floor. It's a GIVEN. It's a CONSTANT, AN ALWAYS, it's not a choice. It's part of the job. Am I wrong? Am I crazy?
I have to say in Kyle's defense that he changes diapers like a champ with very little complaining, and does it like a pro. And last night, he did the dishes for me after dinner WITHOUT my asking (and it's hard even for him to screw up dishes- as long as they get wet they're pretty much gonna be clean).
I just want to know- AM I being picky? What is your position on sweeping before mopping- is that the way it's done or is that me being "so picky"?
I need an outsider's perspective.