I'm reading a book called Lost in My Own Backyard by Tim Cahill, which is a little book of stories/descriptions about the author's experiences in Yellowstone Park.
It's a fascinating book, especially for me because my all-time favorite vacation was the one I took with my family to Yellowstone in, I believe, June of 1989.
It was one year after wildfires ravaged much of the park, and I still have photos of mountaintops and meadows full of burned out trees.
Reading this book brought back so many amazing memories of the trip.
I remember on our first night in the park, we camped at Norris Campground (if memory serves) near the Norris Geyser Basin.
My family and I had been camping every summer since I was little and I considered myself an "outdoorsy" person, so I walked off by myself around sunset to find some kindling for the campfire.
I found a little stand of woods a few campsites over and wandered around, not really paying attention to my surroundings until my feet suddenly sank into the ground and cold water filled my shoes.
I looked up to see that I was at the edge of an enormous swampy meadow and was virtually surrounded by ankle depth water- I actually don't know how I had avoided sinking in for so long.
A few hundred yards away from me, several enormous bison were grazing in the meadow, ignoring me, and behind them, the silhouette of a nearby mountain hulked over the whole scene.
I was afraid and exhilarated- I kind of felt like the ground had dropped out beneath me (which in actuality it had).
I realized that camping in Yellowstone was not going to be anything like camping in Northern Wisconsin or Michigan- for this place was truly wild.
I stood there in the water and watched the sun get lower- I tried to memorize the scene because I knew I'd never want to forget it.
Over the next week, we saw many of the park's famous attractions- Old Faithful geyser (which we had to view from a distance because there was a nut holding hostages at the visitor's center that day), Morning Glory pool, the Paint Pots, the gorgeous Minerva Terrace.
What was almost more fascinating to me than the active pools, hot springs and fumeroles were the ancient rock formations left by hot springs that no longer exist- I'll never forget the hulking sight of White Elephant Back Terrace, an enormous white sculpture made of mineral deposits that once bubbled and steamed with superheated water.
There's something so creepy and cool about driving away from the main attractions and seeing ancient burned out holes that were once just as beautiful as the attractions themselves.
It really makes you appreciate how much natural wonder Yellowstone has to offer.
I can't wait to go back someday.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Monday, August 30, 2004
My new "on the road" pet peeve is drivers who don't get fully into turn lanes, but block all traffic while slowing WAY down and drifting absentmindedly toward the turn lane, finally coasting to rest with their rear bumper poking into traffic.
What is that ABOUT??? The turn lane is there especially for you! Why do you have to ride the line for half a mile and slow everyone down???
In the midst of watching John McCain diss Michael Moore (with hilarious Fox news commentary), I saw a commercial for the Ab Lounger. It's basically a medieval torture rack on which you contort your body to do some kind of weird sit-up.
Highlights include a graphic of a naked androgynous body stretched on the Ab Lounger, and a fat lady doing crunchies while the announcer says it's so easy "anyone can do it." How sad for that actress.
What is that ABOUT??? The turn lane is there especially for you! Why do you have to ride the line for half a mile and slow everyone down???
In the midst of watching John McCain diss Michael Moore (with hilarious Fox news commentary), I saw a commercial for the Ab Lounger. It's basically a medieval torture rack on which you contort your body to do some kind of weird sit-up.
Highlights include a graphic of a naked androgynous body stretched on the Ab Lounger, and a fat lady doing crunchies while the announcer says it's so easy "anyone can do it." How sad for that actress.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
I have been having a depressing last couple of days.
Owen's speech therapist recommended I read a book called "A Child With Special Needs"- and at the time I scoffed and thought- "whatever, he doesn't have special needs! He's not special, he just doesn't talk!"
It finally sank in to me that a 2 and a half year old who barely speaks does have special needs.
I know it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with his intelligence per se, or that he might not eventually learn to talk just as well as anyone else.
It doesn't change how much I love him or how well we communicate when it's just the two of us.
But it does change my perception of how the rest of the world views him, and I guess that's what's been upsetting for me.
I think Paul Collins said it best in Not Even Wrong: Adventures in Autism, a great book I just read. He said that he simply can't bear the thought of anyone being cruel to his child (his son has autism).
I still have very high expectations for Owen- although he doesn't talk much, he is making connections between words and objects, often very high-level connections- and is capable of logical thought sequences- for example, the other day I told him we'd go to the park as soon as Stewart woke up and we were "ready"- I never said anything about shoes, but he connected the idea of shoes to the concept of being "ready" and came to me pointing at his bare feet. Then he ran and got shoes for me to help put on.
Owen also follows directions well and even our speech therapist has commented on how much receptive language he seems to have.
On the whole, we are very lucky. Many kids with speech delays understand very little of what is being said to them and can often act out so much in frustration that it is impossible to take them anywhere.
So we are definitely lucky and I know I shouldn't feel so worried. After all, Owen is his own person and I honestly wouldn't want him to be anything other than who he is.
I am praying for progress though. Owen is much better than he was before- now he asks to be let down from the dinner table, asks to be picked up, asks to go outside or for "more"- all things he would just gesture or cry for several months ago.
So I am pleased with the progress and hope for more and more as he starts pre-school, hopefully aroud next week. He's going to a language-based pre-school specifically designed to help him talk- all of the teachers have master's degrees in speech pathology or child psychology- there's even a behavioral therapist on staff and a physical therapist for those who need it.
I'll keep you all abreast of his progress.
Owen's speech therapist recommended I read a book called "A Child With Special Needs"- and at the time I scoffed and thought- "whatever, he doesn't have special needs! He's not special, he just doesn't talk!"
It finally sank in to me that a 2 and a half year old who barely speaks does have special needs.
I know it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with his intelligence per se, or that he might not eventually learn to talk just as well as anyone else.
It doesn't change how much I love him or how well we communicate when it's just the two of us.
But it does change my perception of how the rest of the world views him, and I guess that's what's been upsetting for me.
I think Paul Collins said it best in Not Even Wrong: Adventures in Autism, a great book I just read. He said that he simply can't bear the thought of anyone being cruel to his child (his son has autism).
I still have very high expectations for Owen- although he doesn't talk much, he is making connections between words and objects, often very high-level connections- and is capable of logical thought sequences- for example, the other day I told him we'd go to the park as soon as Stewart woke up and we were "ready"- I never said anything about shoes, but he connected the idea of shoes to the concept of being "ready" and came to me pointing at his bare feet. Then he ran and got shoes for me to help put on.
Owen also follows directions well and even our speech therapist has commented on how much receptive language he seems to have.
On the whole, we are very lucky. Many kids with speech delays understand very little of what is being said to them and can often act out so much in frustration that it is impossible to take them anywhere.
So we are definitely lucky and I know I shouldn't feel so worried. After all, Owen is his own person and I honestly wouldn't want him to be anything other than who he is.
I am praying for progress though. Owen is much better than he was before- now he asks to be let down from the dinner table, asks to be picked up, asks to go outside or for "more"- all things he would just gesture or cry for several months ago.
So I am pleased with the progress and hope for more and more as he starts pre-school, hopefully aroud next week. He's going to a language-based pre-school specifically designed to help him talk- all of the teachers have master's degrees in speech pathology or child psychology- there's even a behavioral therapist on staff and a physical therapist for those who need it.
I'll keep you all abreast of his progress.
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Friday, August 20, 2004
How Do You Define "Help?"
A lot of people have given me advice on how to enjoy motherhood more; my parents, Kyle's parents, and of course, publications like Parents magazine or Babycenter.com.
The one piece of advice I read or hear everywhere is: Don't be a martyr. Ask for help, because you will just be stressed if you try to do everything yourself.
A corollary to this very good advice typically is: Learn to deal with the fact that your spouse won't do things the exact same way you do. Maybe they do things a little differently, but wouldn't you rather have the help than have them do nothing?
I can think of nothing more true. And quite honestly, I've never cared much how chores are done so long as they are done.
Anyone who has seen my average/on-the-sloppy-side housekeeping knows that I'm no neat freak.
But when people give me that advice about dealing with my spouse's "different" way of cleaning, I don't think they really understand quite how "different" Kyle's versions of things are.
I mean, when Parents magazine tells me to "ease up and let my hubby do the laundry- who cares if they don't fold it exactly right?" they make it sound as if a few wrinkled clothes would be the ONLY problem with Kyle doing the laundry.
I don't think they had in mind two FULL loads of completely sopping laundry removed from the dryer an hour too early that had to be spread all over the floor to dry for two days (last time I let him to the laundry... about five years ago).
I mean, doing things "differently" is all well and good- but people make it sound like Kyle (or a typical husband) makes the bed with iron-sharp creases and their nagging wife comes home and complains because they didn't do a French tuck under the pillows or something.
Give me a break! I'd be satisfied with all the pillows being on the bed and the sheet not being bunched in a huge pile underneath the comforter. Seriously, Kyle's idea of making the bed is spreading the top comforter and leaving everything else the way it is.
Kyle's idea of taking the trash out is taking the bag from the kitchen to the porch and not bothering to replace the liner.
Kyle's idea of mopping is taking a mop and swishing dirty water all over the floor- WITHOUT SWEEPING FIRST so the crumbs, pretzel bits and goldfish crackers just get moved around.
I mean, let's be honest- that's not "different"- it's just WRONG. I'm not saying I do everything right and I'm perfect and he has to do it exactly my way.
I'm saying that HUMANITY sweeps before mopping because otherwise it's not mopping. It's spilling water on the floor. It's a GIVEN. It's a CONSTANT, AN ALWAYS, it's not a choice. It's part of the job. Am I wrong? Am I crazy?
I have to say in Kyle's defense that he changes diapers like a champ with very little complaining, and does it like a pro. And last night, he did the dishes for me after dinner WITHOUT my asking (and it's hard even for him to screw up dishes- as long as they get wet they're pretty much gonna be clean).
I just want to know- AM I being picky? What is your position on sweeping before mopping- is that the way it's done or is that me being "so picky"?
I need an outsider's perspective.
The one piece of advice I read or hear everywhere is: Don't be a martyr. Ask for help, because you will just be stressed if you try to do everything yourself.
A corollary to this very good advice typically is: Learn to deal with the fact that your spouse won't do things the exact same way you do. Maybe they do things a little differently, but wouldn't you rather have the help than have them do nothing?
I can think of nothing more true. And quite honestly, I've never cared much how chores are done so long as they are done.
Anyone who has seen my average/on-the-sloppy-side housekeeping knows that I'm no neat freak.
But when people give me that advice about dealing with my spouse's "different" way of cleaning, I don't think they really understand quite how "different" Kyle's versions of things are.
I mean, when Parents magazine tells me to "ease up and let my hubby do the laundry- who cares if they don't fold it exactly right?" they make it sound as if a few wrinkled clothes would be the ONLY problem with Kyle doing the laundry.
I don't think they had in mind two FULL loads of completely sopping laundry removed from the dryer an hour too early that had to be spread all over the floor to dry for two days (last time I let him to the laundry... about five years ago).
I mean, doing things "differently" is all well and good- but people make it sound like Kyle (or a typical husband) makes the bed with iron-sharp creases and their nagging wife comes home and complains because they didn't do a French tuck under the pillows or something.
Give me a break! I'd be satisfied with all the pillows being on the bed and the sheet not being bunched in a huge pile underneath the comforter. Seriously, Kyle's idea of making the bed is spreading the top comforter and leaving everything else the way it is.
Kyle's idea of taking the trash out is taking the bag from the kitchen to the porch and not bothering to replace the liner.
Kyle's idea of mopping is taking a mop and swishing dirty water all over the floor- WITHOUT SWEEPING FIRST so the crumbs, pretzel bits and goldfish crackers just get moved around.
I mean, let's be honest- that's not "different"- it's just WRONG. I'm not saying I do everything right and I'm perfect and he has to do it exactly my way.
I'm saying that HUMANITY sweeps before mopping because otherwise it's not mopping. It's spilling water on the floor. It's a GIVEN. It's a CONSTANT, AN ALWAYS, it's not a choice. It's part of the job. Am I wrong? Am I crazy?
I have to say in Kyle's defense that he changes diapers like a champ with very little complaining, and does it like a pro. And last night, he did the dishes for me after dinner WITHOUT my asking (and it's hard even for him to screw up dishes- as long as they get wet they're pretty much gonna be clean).
I just want to know- AM I being picky? What is your position on sweeping before mopping- is that the way it's done or is that me being "so picky"?
I need an outsider's perspective.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Thick Days
A lot of people have been asking me how I lost all that chunk I've had for the last 3 years. Most ask me what the "secret" is- so I'll tell you.
Number one is: I'm not pregnant or nursing. That helps a whole lot.
However, after the baby weight (about forty pounds) and the nursing weight (about ten pounds) naturally melted away, I still found myself weighing about 132 pounds, which I felt was too much for my height of 5'2".
I made it my goal to lose 20 pounds, and I've lost about 18 of them.
Basically, I counted calories. I went to a website that helped me (google "calorie counting" if you want to find it) to figure out the number of calories necessary to maintain my weight (it was about 1969 calories for 132 pounds). I then tried to create a daily calorie deficit of around 500.
I wrote down everything I ate in a book and tried to keep my daily totals to around 1500 or less.
It really was only hard for the first week or so- eventually just the act of knowing I had to write down my calories kept me from eating because I couldn't just put anything into my mouth. For example, I tended stop taking mouthfuls of leftovers from Owen's plate because I didn't want to figure out what percentage of a serving I ate and calculate the calories.
According to the aforementioned website, each 2500 calorie deficit equals 1 pound. I figured that with a 500 calorie deficit per day I should be losing a pound every 5 days and that I would lose 20 pounds between May 10 and August 10 (approximately).
So I am almost there.
However, I only actually counted calories for the first month of my diet. Since the beginning of June, I have felt confident enough to estimate calories in my head. Plus, my appetite is much smaller. I am satisfied now with probably 1/4 of the serving sizes I used to eat.
So since about June I have been eating pretty much whatever I want- just a lot less of it than before.
I feel totally satisfied and there are no "forbidden" foods like bread or dessert or bacon. I can eat anything.
However, I do still have times when I feel like eating just because I'm bored, or because I'm watching a movie and feel the need to munch.
Here are some things I used to stop the needless snacking:
1: Diet Coke, iced tea, occasional beer or wine in the evening. Diet Coke and tea are calorie free- alcohol has calories, but there are still plenty less calories in a beer than in a box of Cheez-Its.
2: Lollipops. They taste sugary and take a long time to finish so I feel like I'm getting a real treat, but in reality there are hardly any calories.
3: Ditto popsicles.
4: Rice cakes. I know, everyone thinks they're gross. But if you get the salted kind and have it with a diet soda, it's quite a satisfying snack. For me, the salt really makes me feel like I'm getting a treat.
For meals, I ate a lot of yogurt, chicken breasts cooked in olive oil, graham crackers, string cheese, and salads (with as much dressing as I wanted).
The other thing which I think helped me is that I didn't force myself to eat things I don't like. I stuck with the fruits and vegetables I like, and with smaller serving sizes of the foods I eat anyway (like graham crackers and cereal). I've found that if I try to diet by forcing myself to eat things I hate, even if they are healthy, I will just not stick to it. Life is too short to eat garbage.
So that's it- not really much of a secret. I didn't really follow any of the popular fad diets. I think what I did is probably closest to the Weight Watchers points system (which is just a fancy way of counting calories).
I find it hilarious that everyone who has asked me about my diet is already totally slim and doesn't need any advice at all, but, here it is ladies :).
Number one is: I'm not pregnant or nursing. That helps a whole lot.
However, after the baby weight (about forty pounds) and the nursing weight (about ten pounds) naturally melted away, I still found myself weighing about 132 pounds, which I felt was too much for my height of 5'2".
I made it my goal to lose 20 pounds, and I've lost about 18 of them.
Basically, I counted calories. I went to a website that helped me (google "calorie counting" if you want to find it) to figure out the number of calories necessary to maintain my weight (it was about 1969 calories for 132 pounds). I then tried to create a daily calorie deficit of around 500.
I wrote down everything I ate in a book and tried to keep my daily totals to around 1500 or less.
It really was only hard for the first week or so- eventually just the act of knowing I had to write down my calories kept me from eating because I couldn't just put anything into my mouth. For example, I tended stop taking mouthfuls of leftovers from Owen's plate because I didn't want to figure out what percentage of a serving I ate and calculate the calories.
According to the aforementioned website, each 2500 calorie deficit equals 1 pound. I figured that with a 500 calorie deficit per day I should be losing a pound every 5 days and that I would lose 20 pounds between May 10 and August 10 (approximately).
So I am almost there.
However, I only actually counted calories for the first month of my diet. Since the beginning of June, I have felt confident enough to estimate calories in my head. Plus, my appetite is much smaller. I am satisfied now with probably 1/4 of the serving sizes I used to eat.
So since about June I have been eating pretty much whatever I want- just a lot less of it than before.
I feel totally satisfied and there are no "forbidden" foods like bread or dessert or bacon. I can eat anything.
However, I do still have times when I feel like eating just because I'm bored, or because I'm watching a movie and feel the need to munch.
Here are some things I used to stop the needless snacking:
1: Diet Coke, iced tea, occasional beer or wine in the evening. Diet Coke and tea are calorie free- alcohol has calories, but there are still plenty less calories in a beer than in a box of Cheez-Its.
2: Lollipops. They taste sugary and take a long time to finish so I feel like I'm getting a real treat, but in reality there are hardly any calories.
3: Ditto popsicles.
4: Rice cakes. I know, everyone thinks they're gross. But if you get the salted kind and have it with a diet soda, it's quite a satisfying snack. For me, the salt really makes me feel like I'm getting a treat.
For meals, I ate a lot of yogurt, chicken breasts cooked in olive oil, graham crackers, string cheese, and salads (with as much dressing as I wanted).
The other thing which I think helped me is that I didn't force myself to eat things I don't like. I stuck with the fruits and vegetables I like, and with smaller serving sizes of the foods I eat anyway (like graham crackers and cereal). I've found that if I try to diet by forcing myself to eat things I hate, even if they are healthy, I will just not stick to it. Life is too short to eat garbage.
So that's it- not really much of a secret. I didn't really follow any of the popular fad diets. I think what I did is probably closest to the Weight Watchers points system (which is just a fancy way of counting calories).
I find it hilarious that everyone who has asked me about my diet is already totally slim and doesn't need any advice at all, but, here it is ladies :).
Sunday, August 15, 2004
Monday, August 09, 2004
Media Update
Now Gamecubin':
Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy
Prince of Persia
Recently Read:
Bergdorf Blondes by Plum Sykes.
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris.
Recently Watched:
You Got Served
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Cold Mountain
Collateral
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
I, Robot (fell asleep in theater)
Fahrenheit 911
Barbershop
Center Stage
Sex and the City on TBS
Curb Your Enthusiasm Season Two
Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy
Prince of Persia
Recently Read:
Bergdorf Blondes by Plum Sykes.
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris.
Recently Watched:
You Got Served
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Cold Mountain
Collateral
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
I, Robot (fell asleep in theater)
Fahrenheit 911
Barbershop
Center Stage
Sex and the City on TBS
Curb Your Enthusiasm Season Two
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
To All the Girls
Ladies- have you ever had one of those periods that just WILL NOT END????
You have a day, maybe two of heavy flow followed by a WEEK of not enough leakage to wear even a thin maxi, but just enough to ruin your underpants????
I'm having one right now and I'm sick of washing underwear.
Men- don't even bother to comment if you're going to write something about how disgusted you are. I have heard enough of your jokes about anal sex and Asian boys. This means you, Dave.
You have a day, maybe two of heavy flow followed by a WEEK of not enough leakage to wear even a thin maxi, but just enough to ruin your underpants????
I'm having one right now and I'm sick of washing underwear.
Men- don't even bother to comment if you're going to write something about how disgusted you are. I have heard enough of your jokes about anal sex and Asian boys. This means you, Dave.
Sunday, August 01, 2004
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